Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Progressive Sexual Ethics: Take Two

Okay, I already addressed this subject before some time back. And since sex is one of the biggest distrations of the dunya, I wanted to take a stab at it again. I call it a big distraction because while Muslims are suffering in all parts of the world due to poverty, war and disease, PMUNA and MWU would convince us that what the umma needs is more pornographic stories about Muslims doing absolutely ridiculous things. There's one story in particular where an Egyptian girl is inpregnanted by her drunk, theiving African-American lover. Of course, in the story, rather than blaming herself for being so naive (amongst other things) she blames the Qu'ran for her eventual guilt.

Sorry, kids. It looks like you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

Not now. Not ever.

You see sexual intercourse is one of the wonderful gifts of Allah subhana wa ta'ala and just like any gift, you can use it for good or evil purposes. When Allah subhana wa ta'ala made it clear that fornication was a sinful trangression, He wasn't being a big party pooper ruining your fun. He is not a big meanie who hates to see His creation to have any joy, excitement or pleasure. The boundaries are set up to protect us. Abstinence until marriage protects both the man and the woman. But it protects the woman more so because no matter how much this current society tries to resocialize gender roles, women will always receive the brunt of jugdement. Notice how Asra Nomani gets all the negative attention while hardly anybody mentions the man that abandoned her. What she did wasn't right but both partners are equally guility in light of the Qur'an and sunnah.

But it is the woman who bears the child for 9 months and is, by biological selection, the primary caregiver. Fathers are important and essential but its the bond between mother and child that is hard to break. Maybe that is why it is so easy for some men to walk away, because they haven't had a life growing inside of them. It is the woman who has to make the diffucult decision to have an abortion or not. And while making this decision, she usually does it alone. Ask any teenage mother and she'll tell you all about it.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that their "Sex and the Umma" column is intended to wake us up but in reality, it puts us to sleep when it comes to what's really important.

You want a dose of reality?

I got a new job working right across the hall from the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Clinic. Everytime I walk by the clinic to run an errand or grab a bite to eat, the room is usually full. The people are young, many are in their late teens to early twenties. Both genders are represented with a little more women than men. They all have the same look on their face--fear and worry. They are scared that they have something that will kill them and it's a feeling that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

That is reality.

As Muslims, we are obligated to advocate social and sexual responsibility not matter how unpopular it is. Anything else is ghaflah. No Muslim should feel ashamed or think that Islam needs reform for the sexual ethics that have been promoted by Islam and other faiths for hundreds of years. Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows His creation better than we do and knows what is best for us.

Only few questions remain. How can a movement which claims to be setting us free is actually setting up the Muslim world for the same ills of Western society? What could we possibly want with epidemic numbers of STD transmission, divorce, out of wedlock pregnancy and strife between men and women? What is so regressive about abstinence and proper birth control usage in an age when twelve year old girls are contracting syphilis? It's a shame because Muslims can offer an alternative that has been forgotten by some in other faith communities. But as MWU and PMUNA have made clear, this is not about changing the world for the better but rather conforming to a society which is considered by some to be in state of cultural and social decay.

7 Comments:

Blogger alex said...

MashaAllah, an excellent article.
May Allah reward you with goodness in this life and the next.

7:54 PM  
Blogger DrMaxtor said...

Very well said, STD rates are out of control. The resident pornographer (cbuh) at mwu claimed in her latest piece that the Prophet (s.a.w.) used to the equivalent of the "f" word in reference to sexual intercourse.
Pretty sick, aint it ?

9:33 PM  
Blogger UmmAli said...

I'm not sure what the race of the patients has to do with anything, except to further the stereotype that African Americans are somehow less moral or less clean than white folk. White people get STDs at teh same or higher rates as people of color, they just usually have enough money to see a private doctor vs. a clinic.

9:51 AM  
Blogger alex said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:43 PM  
Blogger alex said...

Salaam 'alaikum Sister UmmAli,
Allahu 'alam, I think that race and class do matter.(and in the US the two are inexorably tied, as you point out).
If one looks at the history of AIDS in America, for instance, what started out as a white gay male disease now disproportionately affects poor Black and Latina women. And even if the incidence of other diseases is substantially similar among the different races and class groups, access to health care is for from equal, as both you the and article point out.
So when the Ivy League educated sons and daughters of privilege promote liberal sexual expression, they are, de facto, engaging in a racist and elitist act.
Or something like that. And Allah knows best.
wasalaam 'alaikum

7:49 PM  
Blogger izzymo said...

Salaam alaikum,

Jazak Allah Khairn Brother Alex! :)

Dr. Maxtor, just when I think that they can't say anything worse, they do. I won't even get into how disrespectful that is.

Salaam Umm Ali,
When I stated the races of the patients, I didn't mean to cast any particular race in a bad light. I guess being African-American, I sometimes forget that people may take some statements out of context to support their own prejudices. I'll remove the statement.

I did check out the CDC website and unfortunately, HIV/AIDS is a bigger problem among African American than Caucausian Americans.

Check out www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/facts.afam.htm
In 2003, African Americans accounted for 54% of HIV infection and while Caucasians were 32%.

8:16 PM  
Blogger ابدلرحیم said...

Just to let you know, about divorce, Saudi Arabia has the same divorce rate as the United States, 50%.

7:13 PM  

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